A foursome of hackers teed off at 10 a.m. every Saturday and all were usually there well before the tee time. One Saturday, however, Dave rushed to the tee just in time, as the other three had already teed off.
Dave apologized and explained that he had stopped at the optometrist’s office on the way to the course to pick up his new bifocals.
Dave put on his new glasses, teed up his ball and, after turning his head this way and that, proceeded to hit the best drive of his life. Dave’s approach shot to the green was even better than his drive, leaving him a birdie putt that he poured into the middle of the cup.
Dave continued to play the best golf of his life, he broke 80 for the first time and won every bet.
Of course, the foursome retired to the clubhouse after the round to celebrate and allow Dave to buy drinks. After the round, his buddies began to press him to explain his new golf skills.
Dave said “Guys, it’s these new bifocals. When I put them on and looked over the top of the rim, I saw a little ball and a little club, but when I looked through the bottom of the glasses, I saw a big ball and a big club. But if I looked just right, I could see a little ball and a big club.
“So, I hit the little ball with the big club all day. And when I putted, it was even better, I hit the little ball into the big hole with the big putter.”
Well, everyone thought this was brilliant and required several more drinks.
After a while, Dave excused himself to visit the men’s room. However, when he failed to return after a considerable absence one friend went to check on him. He found Dave at the urinal with the front of his trousers soaking wet.
“What happened?” his friend inquired.
An obviously tipsy Dave responded, “I don’t know. I was standing here taking a leak and I looked down and saw two — one big one and one little one. I didn’t recognize the big one, so I put it back in my pants!”
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