Joke Of The Day
A businessman was attending a conference in Africa. He had a free day and wanted to play a round of golf. He asked if there were any courses in the vicinity and was directed to one on the outskirts of the jungle.
After a short journey, he arrived at the course and advised the pro that he wanted to play 18 holes.
“Sure,” said the pro, “What’s your handicap?”
“Well, it’s 16,” said the businessman, “But I don’t see the relevance since I shall be playing alone.”
“No, it’s very important for us to know,” said the pro. He then called a caddie.
“Go out with this gentleman,” said the pro. “His handicap is 16.”
The businessman was very surprised at this constant reference to his handicap. However, he paid it no more attention. The caddie picked up the businessman’s bag and a large rifle, which he slung over his shoulder. Again, the businessman was surprised, but decided to ask no questions.
They arrived on the 1st hole, a par-4.
“Please avoid those trees on the left,” said the caddie.
Needless to say, the businessman duck-hooked his ball into the trees. He found his ball and was about to punch it out when he heard the loud crack of the rifle and a large snake fell dead from a tree above his head. The caddy stood next to him with the rifle smoking in his hand.
“That’s the most poisonous snake in all of Africa,” said the caddie. “You’re lucky I was here with you.”
After taking a bogey on the hole, they moved to the second, a par-5. “Avoid those bushes on the right,” said the caddie.
Of course, the businessman’s ball went slicing away into the bushes. As he went to pick up his ball, he heard the loud crack of the caddie’s rifle once more, and a huge lion fell dead at his feet.
“I’ve saved your life again,” said the caddie.
The third hole was a par-3 with a lake in front of the green. The businessman’s ball came up just short of the green and rolled back to the edge of the water.
He had a shot, however, but he had to place one foot into the lake to be able to play. As he was about to chip the ball onto the green, a large crocodile emerged from the water and bit off his right leg. As he fell to the ground, he saw the caddie with the rifle propped at his side looking on unconcerned.
As he fell to the ground, he saw the caddie with the rifle propped at his side looking on unconcerned.
“Why didn’t you shoot it?” asked the man, writhing in pain.
“I’m sorry, sir,” said the caddie, “This is the 17th handicap hole, you don’t get a shot here.”
There Is No Offseason
A Joe DiMaggio – a dead yank