CPG Goes Off On The TNML Press Corps

Club Pro Guy

Club Pro Guy

SwingU Master Faculty

I totally got my ass kicked in every phase of the game; that’s what it boils down to. 

Stan Perry is who I thought he was, and I let him off the hook. You guys have no idea what it takes to win in this league. Vikram Kothery hits a monster bucket every day while I’m in the office dotting scorecards and giving lessons to stupid kids. Jerry Brownlow bought a season-long lesson package at Golf-Tec; meanwhile, I’m sitting here every night waiting for the last two carts to come in.

How am I supposed to compete if I can’t work on my game? And then when I do get on the golf course, the ladies tees are a full 15 yards ahead of the whites. The women are out there cutting doglegs at will. It’s like a bomber’s paradise out there. 

I’m a single-digit player and I’m handing out strokes like they’re candy. I’m out there getting 6-net-5’d to death, and you ask me what’s wrong with my game? Maybe you guys should put down your tape recorders and sign up for the league next year. 

Other than Howard Newman, who is legally blind, there’s not a player in this league who has given me a five-footer all year long — not one! — and then I see stories getting put out on social media about the conditions of the course, trying to make Miguel look bad…

You want to write about this club? Write about me. So go ahead… write your stories about how CPG shot a 51 today because frankly, I don’t give a damn anymore. 

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