Joke Of The Day
A routine police patrol parked outside a bar at a golf course in Texas. Shortly before closing, the officer sees a man carrying golf clubs leaving so intoxicated that he could barely walk. The man stumbled and bumbled around the parking lot. The officer remained quiet observing him. The man stumbled for what seemed like an eternity trying his keys in five different vehicles.
Finally, he found his pickup truck and tried to throw his clubs in the back, but fell down trying. His golf bag and clubs fell out and tumbled on top of him. He sat there looking at his clubs and bag for a few minutes as a number of other patrons left the bar and drove off.
He gathered everything up, got into his truck, started the engine and switched the wipers on and off, even though it was a clear moonlit night. Then he flicked the blinkers on and off a couple of times, honked the horn and switched on the lights. He moved the vehicle forward a few inches, reversed a little and then remained still for a few more minutes as some more of the other patrons’ vehicles left.
At last, when his was the only vehicle left in the parking lot, he pulled out and drove slowly down the road. The police officer, having waited patiently all this time, now started his patrol car, and put on his emergency lights and pulled the man over.
“Good evening, officer,” the golfer said.
“License and registration, please? Have you been drinking tonight?” the officer asked.
“No sir, not a drop,” the man said.
The officer administered a breathalyzer test. To his amazement, the breathalyzer indicated no evidence that the man had consumed any alcohol at all!
Dumbfounded, the officer said, “I’ll have to ask you to accompany me to the police station. The breathalyzer equipment must be broken.”
“I seriously doubt it,” the golfer said. “Tonight, I’m the designated decoy.”
Have a good (and relatively clean) golf joke that you’d like to see featured? Email it to firstname.lastname@example.org!
Teamwork Almost Made The Dream Work
From The Gallery
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People always ask me now: “How are you liking Mississippi, Hailey?” And I’m like: Well as soon as I got here “stay at home” started so I haven’t been allowed to really meet anyone, make friends, or go anywhere for the past month and a half. I think I like it? ?. I’m proud of what this time has taught me though…to become my own best friend. I’ve used all my off time on the weekends to spend hours of researching potential story ideas/emailing and calling people so that I can set my next week up and keep covering sports while there aren’t any sports in a community I’m brand new to. I’ve motivated myself to make fitness a huge priority and I’m about to be in the best shape I’ve ever been in and I’m just getting started. I’m setting aside time each week to study the sports I don’t consider myself an expert at because I want to be an expert at them. I’m asking for criticism left and right and challenging myself to constantly improve each week, and because of that I’m turning what before were weakness into strengths. None of this is comfortable and that’s why I am growing ? Every day I am another step closer to where I want to be and that’s what keeps me going. #keepgoing