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Beef Johnston Explains The Six Stages Of Drinking

Andrew ‘Beef’ Johnston seemingly makes golf publication headlines daily. Whether it be for his business decisions or his off-the-course antics, we can’t get enough Beef.

In fact, just this past weekend, he earned his PGA Tour card for the 2016-2017 season. See what we did there?

In a recent interview with Golf Digest, Beef gives us mere mortals a free lesson by breaking down the six stages of another one of his passions… drinking:

First there is Relaxed and Social—think, normal people filling the bar at 6 p.m.

Second stage is Let’s Have One More. This is where the quality of your mates is established and you want more of a good time.

Third comes Where Are We Going Next? That’s when the mysteries of the night begin calling.

Fourth up: Hammered. It’s a full-on party, even when you aren’t really celebrating anything.

Fifth: The Really Drunk Guy. You start sentences with, “I’m being completely serious.” This can be bad news.

The sixth stage, the last and worst, is The Journey Home. Here you’re tired, have advanced feelings of regret and just want to get to your bed.

The legend continues to grow. 

[h.t FTW]

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